Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Not Exactly The News

The family and its various branches have, in the past had big years for moving, career advances and babies. This past one was a huge one for - being less "huge". I think the collective weight loss they (not me) racked up was easily 300 lb. and perhaps closer to 400. Hooray for, ah, us.

Do you think there was much of an internal debate at the headquarters of the company that makes "Cold - Eze" when someone, perhaps the great man himself, brought up the possibility of the boss going on the company's TV commercials? Some CEOs have done this well, and others maybe not so well, but none that I can recall carried the name "Karkus". Do you think anyone suggested thinking this one over a little? Nah.

His Holiness Pope Benedict ("Don't call me "Ben") surprised the world yesterday by announcing his plan to hang up his scepter due to ...just getting too old, I guess. It was even more surprising to learn that the Vatican has a plan in place for just such an event, even though the plan hasn't been needed in almost 600 years. When I learned that, I breathed a sigh of relief, because the idea of a former pontiff supporting himself with exotic garage sales or offering to translate things into (or out of) Latin for a small fee just seemed too sad. Of course, the actual plan itself seems just a touch weird. His (former) Holiness gets his own little cloister, but it's to be located right in the middle of the Vatican itself. Maybe that's what's meant by the phrase "The Lonely Crowd". I sure hope the TV signal that he'll get carries more than Holy See TV. After all, even old guys want to watch a little soccer once in awhile.

Admit it. Some of you probably weren't crazy about my two-part entry on the subject of guns a few weeks ago. You have your revenge. I took the material and turned it into a speech delivered at the Toastmasters meeting last week.
The speech had one irredeemable fault - it was too long by about seven minutes. Of course, for speeches that are very good, this wouldn't be much of a problem. Instead, the audience, made up of about a dozen adults almost all younger than me, used the time issue as leverage to say what they were really thinking, which was something like "Sit down, geezer. We get the message, OK?" They didn't say it out loud, but Toastmaster meetings allow the audience to make comments on little pieces of paper slightly larger than fortune cookie predictions. I haven't had less fun since taking almost a half hour once to talk about all the irregularities in the 2000 presidential election. So on this occasion, at least, I was something of a flop. Let's hope the president does better with tonight's State of the Union message. Of course, he gets more help.          


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