Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Bonus! Bonus!

I got to thinking a little about the blog already published this week, and felt I could add to it without rotten veggies being thrown my way. I'm happy to say that it in no way connects to people who were alive last week, and now aren't. Just think of it as a tiny Mothers Day present, though there's no connection with that, either. Finally, you should read last Sunday's blog before this one. It'll make more sense that way.

Picture a couple of guys drying off following their weekly tennis match at the club. The conversation takes place in the locker room.
"Man, you were tough today, Burt."
"Thanks, Ernie. You know how some days things just seem to work better."
"Right. But, your serve. It was moving around today in ways I just don't remember! C'mon, man. You're getting some help, right?"
"Well, yes. I've been in on a few lessons."
"Really? From who?"
"Gosh, do I have to tell you? After all, we're competitors, right?"
"Right. But we're also teammates when we take on your in-laws in doubles. Really, I won't tell."
"Well, here's a clue. Who's the most unlikely guy you'd think could help my game out?"
"You don't mean-"
"Do I have to spell it out? I've had some lessons with the Insane Pro."
"Wow. I've heard about that guy. But isn't he kind of, ah,...crazy?"
"Well, aren't we all, Big Guy? I admit he was a little tough to get used to at first. There was the screaming at his imaginary opponent, and there was the time he slammed a ball at a noisy baby. But the ball missed. Hey, you can get used to almost anything if you want to, man."
"Yeah, I hear you. I used to feel bad at the brokerage office when people came in crying over their losses. Who knew things were going to crater, right? I don't even notice them anymore."
"That's exactly how it is with Insane Pro. In fact, we just call him 'I.P'"
"Is he trying to get you to change any other parts of your game?"
"We had one workout when he wanted me to hit forehands with my back to the net between the legs."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No. Actually, I hit some pretty good shots, but viewing the court from upside down means you have to make some adjustments with your footwork."
"Hmm. Yeah. I could see how that might be tough."
"Given what the guy charges, I'm already way ahead. So, over all I'm pretty happy with the decision to work with him."
"Well, if you don't mind one more nosy question, just how much does he charge?"
"If you must know, it's...two dollars a lesson."
"TWO DOLLARS!? But that's--"
"I know. It's insane (chuckle)."


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