Tuesday, September 23, 2008

The Party Party

I bet most of you missed a little story that hit the papers last week. I guess all stories other than our imploding economy are small stories, but this one was almost funny in an old-fashioned way. An office of the Department of the Interior in Denver has responsibility for granting things like oil leases. Naturally, the folks in the office, who I cannot swear are all Dick Cheney blood oath Republicans, have lots of contact with representatives from oil companies.
In fact, they had way TOO MUCH contact with the oil folks. Turns out that in addition to gifts (100 plus in number, but none of them in the class of a "total bribe") , Conoco sent over some "employees" who turned out to be hookers. Can you envision just how this little detail was discussed in the office, post-party?
"Well, that was quite an...event."
"Hey. Do you think those women were all petroleum engineers? I'm not sure."
"Let's see. There was... what were their names? Supple Suzy, Ravishing Rachel and Pamela the Punisher. You know, when you think about it, they didn't use any of the usual industrial lingo. And I haven't met any engineers with tattoos on their, um, bodies before. But I just thought it was a really good meeting."
"Can you be a little more specific? Just how do you mean 'good'"?
"You know there was that moment where Suzie started squirting whipped cream all around. Did you notice that?"
"Nope. Is that what's in your hair?"
"Beats me. Uh, maybe a little."
" What about the booze they had with them?"
"Hey, women come around this office all the time with that stuff. At least, that's what I, ah, heard the boss say."
"That's right. Nothing unusual there."
"But they seemed real patriotic, too. Did you notice?"
"You mean when we stopped drinking for a minute and faced the President's picture, and Rachel said something about him being a real man? Is that what you mean?"
"Right. Although she did say it in kind of a funny way."
"Hey, I think maybe I know what's going on."
Together: "What?"
"The next time they come, let's ask those three if they got their training at Nevada Las Vegas. I heard their program for engineers is different from anyone in the country."


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