Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Best & Worst of the Oughts

In the Department of Major Oops we notice this week that the Republican Party was slightly off in previous statements that Bush administration White House e-mails were all accounted for - except for those "lost" into cyberspace. A dedicated search just turned up another 22 million of the little missives, though we won't know their contents for some time yet.

When there's no real news, or when the news is so complex that it only serves to wrinkle our brows, we turn to lists of the "best & worst". If the year ends in a "9" the lists get the designation "of the decade" even though the decade really doesn't end until the end of the year ending in "0".
That being said, there are a thousand categories I either have no useful knowledge of or little interest in. Some categories are really so subjective ("best movie theme", "best concept album") as to be pretty useless. So, no cell phone winner, no nominee for best action movie, new robot, or techno-rock group.
In no order at all, the decade's best/worst:
best tennis player (male) - Roger Federer. Nobody wins EVERY time out, but The Fed competing in big tournament finals all over the world is almost as predictable as the tides. He's also a nice guy, though not perfect.
best baseball player - Albert Pujols. You know it's going well when he's the UNANIMOUS league MVP. What's amazing is that he seems to deserve it EVERY year.
worst Supreme Court decision - Bush v. Gore. This decision was so convoluted that the Court specified that the ruling NOT be used to determine future cases. The practical results of the ruling were also, IMHO, bad for mankind.
worst Supreme Court nominee - Harriet Miers, whose office just happened to be down the hall from Bush's. He couldn't even get the GOP bigshots on board for this one. She was quickly replaced by corporate soldier Alito.
worst corporate acquisition - Time Warner's purchase of AOL. By the time the two were dissolved, 90% of the latter's value had gone poof.
worst new valueless security - If your broker ever mentions the term "unlisted credit default swaps", start running, not walking, toward the exits, and don't wait for a definition.
best idea for new homes - "Green design".
Proof that some things are unknowable - the BCS system for determining the top college football team. All you can depend on are complaints about the system.
Smartest guys on the Street - Goldman Sachs, which just keeps landing on its feet even when its competitors are going down the toilet into financial history.
worst civil servant (appointed) - Alberto Gonzales, who seemed to think that Attorney General was something the Bushes had invented for him to be able to serve the Family.
worst civil servant (elected) - His Malevolence, Vice President Dick Cheney.
worst presidential campaign - Take your pick of Gore, Kerry or Clinton ('08).
best-run presidential campaign - Obama '08.
most pretentious claim (political) - GWB's "God wants me to be president."
worst new TV screamer - FOX's Glenn Beck, unfortunately a co-religionist. worst presidential decision - The invasion of Iraq. Let's hope the recently announced Afghan escalation doesn't make the same list.
best tennis player (female) - She's no angel, but it's still Serena Williams.
Christmas miracle (09) - Family friends Holly and Diego have twins after years of trying. The difference in size between the babies is so great that if holding both, you need to switch sides every few minutes to avoid having to see a chiropractor.



Blogger Diego Jara said...

I can't believe we made a "best of" list. Sorry, I am a little behind on the blog reading, the bigger of the two has been keeping me up at nights (well so has the smaller one, but she is sweeter about it.)


6:25 PM  

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