Tuesday, October 17, 2006


Hey, let's be honest. Republicans have come up winners in most of the national elections of the last generation. Whole books were and are still being written to tell us why, but one term that keeps recurring is "October Surprise", referring to a last-minute occurance that causes a few votes to shift rightward and "save" things for the GOP.
The first such "surprise", never proven, involved the election of 1980. The nation, under President Carter, was very near an agreement with Iran to gain the release of US embassy hostages, an issue which had hung over the Carter administration like a circling vulture for over a year. Still, Election Day came and went with no deal consummated until the very hour Ronald Reagan took office, at which the hostages left the Tehran airport headed to US facilities in Germany. Democrats have spent many hours in the years since scratching their heads to know the details of a possible deal between candidate Reagan and the Iranians.
The phenomenon continued at various other times, which I'm not going to list because I was accused of making last week's entry too long. Anyway, today's Democrats suffer from some well-earned paranoia just at the mention of the term October Surprise".
I've looked over the possibilities and conclude that if one or more of the following were to happen just prior to the election, that Democrats will once again claim to have been snookered. In other words, if any of these should occur in the next couple of weeks, you heard it here first. Otherwise all Republicans have to shout about is how terrible it would be if any of the people they've tried to demonize during the last few years actually TAKE OFFICE in a Democratic majority situation. The list:
Osama bin Laden is captured.
A new bin Laden tape, full of vicious threats, shows up at the door of Islamic media bigshot Al Jazeera.
A horrible bombing takes place in a city somewhere populated mainly by white people.
The Pope declares that all American Catholics need to vote to oppose the "criminal" practice of abortion.
The price of gas drops by another 50 cents per gallon.
A new book is published insisting that Saddam's WMD's are hidden in Syria.
Al Queda terror cell members are arrested in Florida and shout "Death to America" to the camera.
A high-profile assassination occurs in a western Country. The victim is...white.
A high-ranking Democrat is linked to sexual scandal involving a minor.
An unexplained hike in the terror level color sends Americans scrambling for duct tape.
You've probably heard this one but it bears repeating: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you. Enjoy the week!


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